Consequences · Influence · Knowledge · Patterns · Relationships · Structure · Thoughts · Uncategorized

Betrayal – From Both Sides

Betrayal is the steady refrain in the Game. Be it grand betrayal – treachery, informing, theft. Or petty betrayal – not standing up, not doing the right thing, little white lies that we tell ourselves and others. Betrayal is endemic in our lives.

There are two sides to each betrayal-one who was betrayed, and the other who betrays. If we are honest with ourselves, each of us has been on both sides of the equation. However, over the fullness of time each of us gravitates towards one pole or the other – we either play others or find ourselves played by them. Either we become serial betrayers, such as the case of the Players, or serial objects of betrayal, such as most Outsiders. I have purposefully refrained from declaring or identifying the one played as the victim, for on the deeper level it is the betrayer who is the real victim.

I have come to believe that betrayal – either betraying other or being betrayed – is part of our core nature. Those who are betrayed, are likely to feel anger and resentment towards the betrayer, sometimes going as far as to seek revenge or spending decades obsessing about it.

To the extent that they remain in this paralyzing loop, and cannot get back to their own lives, the betrayed become victims – not so much as a result of the act itself, but from the mental straitjacket is it has placed up on them, and from which they are unable to free themselves. Meanwhile, the courts do the best to feed into this victim mentality with long, drawn out lawsuits typically serving only the lawyers (yet another set of Players)

However, the betrayer is far worse off than the betrayed. The denial which accompanies their betrayal, so as to distance themselves from their actions, effectively eliminates any possibility of their righting the wrong and getting back on course in their lives. For so long as that debt remains outstanding, what ever they do, regardless of how noble seeming to others, is forfeit.


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