Every situation has its own unique variation of the Game. It is analogous to a theatrical production; everyone has their own part to play in the drama. When examining any social situation, the first thing we must do is determine what our role is to be. While it is relatively easy to analyze the roles of the others in the scenario, figuring out our own part requires a much higher degree of insight, introspection, and objectivity.
As we all wish to see ourselves in a positive light, it is challenging to be dispassionate in observing how we contribute to the various dances in our lives. Make no mistake, none of us are the innocent victims we believe ourselves to be –we are all engaged in some way in the dance.
The objective is not so much to change our role; as it is to achieve a degree of mindfulness while playing it. More often than not the archetypal role we have adopted is the right one; however we have become pigeon-holed in the way we play it.
Turning to the drama itself, the bigger game we are in, the more we are deluding ourselves if we think that we can change it to be more to our liking. Stated in this way it sounds like sheer folly- only something that an absolute fool would be likely to do. Nonetheless, it is a mistake that none of us can escape making time and time again. In very much the same vein, the cardinal error many of those who have begun to be aware of the roles they play in the various dramas in their lives make is that they think that they are automatically delivered from the penury of their existing roles. This is a sure recipe for disaster for several reasons.
Firstly, each role has been assigned us early on in each of our lives, and then progressively reinforced over time. Having played this role all our lives, if we were to suddenly choose another part to play, we would be like fish out of water, and feel very uncomfortable in our new circumstances. This explains why lottery winners so often lose their winnings- the new life that came with the financial windfall was so discordant with their characters that they simply could not sustain it. Spending rashly, placing their trust in charlatans, and making imprudent investments, on a subconscious level returns the ‘winner’ to familiar territory.
Secondly, the game is unconscious –the moment that we expose its mechanics to light we disrupt its flow. For the drama to function all the actors must act “as if’ they were the characters they were assigned. One can think of it as a kind of collective trance. We tend to associate this with cults, however on some level it applies to all groups. All it takes is for one actor to step out of character, for the collective trance to be threatened. Therefore, the group, in order to sustain itself, will have no option but to ostracize them. It is not for nothing that all social systems, once in place, are so resistant to change.
One is best advised to leave the dramas of our lives as we find them, and do our best to find ways to work within them. We can feel content in the knowledge that our new awareness introduces real substantive choice in our lives, in place of the illusion of choice that we had before. We can now choose to stay or leave the dramas we are in- at work, in our social lives, in our love lives, even in our families. And if we then choose to stay, we can find new and more interesting ways to play our part in the play.